Out-of-Body Experiences Don’t Impress Me

My sister-in-law Auggie had a near-death experience during a shoe-fitting six years ago and she hasn’t shut up about it since. All we hear from her, between requests for seconds and thirds of my trademark “hangman” cake, are tales of her “out-of-body” experience. As God is my judge, it’s all I can do to restrain myself from bringing down the cake knife on the chubby wrist of the hand holding up the empty plate. “Out-of-body,” my Aunt Fanny! What’s the big deal?

For Pete’s sake, ALL experiences are “out-of-body!” That’s what the word “experience” means. What would you describe as an “in-the-body” experience? Gas?